And so it begins

Decisions

2007-03-26T16:57:00.000+08:00

If you've to choose only one, what will you go for?

money

love

fun

2007-02-28T02:04:00.001+08:00

I need a miracle

Yet another year

2007-01-31T00:48:00.000+08:00

Well, first to call: Rachel!

even before my bro! but then again my bro's in thailand and he forgot about the one hour difference.

then gin in the car and everybody else in the car!

then my mum! then amanda!

Haha! well it really doesn't matter but it just feels nice to have people greeting you early in the morning =)

Well =) Thank you all

Still the same

2007-01-27T14:19:00.000+08:00

26 days into the new year
nothing much has changed

2006-11-25T13:39:00.000+08:00

A Saturday Morning

At 3 today i'm going to visit my grandfather's grave. i've never lost something so close to me before.

I think of the people who came for the wake. I appreciate your coming. And really, it meant alot to me.
Now i know who are my closer friends.

Maybe i didn't show it but my heart was crushed then. And when you guys came, i felt so much better. Really...

Well, i guess this post is just to tell you guys that!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

More then "talk"

2006-10-16T00:58:00.000+08:00

I need to be more then talk...

I need to be... action

Money

2006-09-27T23:50:00.000+08:00

What do you do when you run out of money?

Cause that's where i'm now

ORD LOH!

2006-09-15T00:17:00.000+08:00

And so, it's over.

Another chapter has ajourned.

What a chapter. What an episode. So many things happened in the last 2 years. Frankly speaking, i can't believe all that has happened.

I remember clearly, Sept 13 2004, my mum accompanied me to the police academy. It's kinda dramatic but it did happen. My mum held my hands and said, "Son, take care of yourself. You're a big boy now." Tears flowed down her eyes as she speaks. I can't help it but cry too. It's hard not to when you see your mum cry. It's like her tear ducts (more then 1?) are somehow connected to mine. Everytime she cries, i cry.

I'm a big boy now huh...

Just 2 days ago, i walked out the very same place. i was walking towards the gate when it hitted me, "I'm free!"
I'm free... still feels like a dream.

Anyway...

ORD LOH!

Matthew 25:40

2006-03-09T17:11:00.000+08:00

Today during my not so quiet time, i came across Matthew 25:40

"Truly i say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of mine, even the least
of them, you did it to me"

Well, this verse is usually read something like this
If you're nice to everyone, even to the "outcast" of society, you're being nice to Jesus. It's the simplest way i can put it. That's all good.

However, the opposite is what i'm more concerned about...
If you're bad to anyone, you're bad to Jesus as well.

The people that you treat badly reflects your attitude towards Jesus.

How crazy is that?
Really, it means, when you gossip about someone (bad stuff) you're doing that to God
when you are mean to someone, you're doing that to God
when you hit someone, you're doing that to God
basically, everything done with a bad intention on someone, you're doing that to God as well.

I've still got a lot to work on...

Where's everyone?

2006-02-28T16:00:00.000+08:00

Do friends only like me when i'm all fun and "troubleless"

What happens when i mess up?
Do they help clean
or judge the mess that i've created

Where are they now?

Only one stood by me
even through my darkest hours
you brought comfort
picked me up
cheered me on
listened to me whine

but... now you're gone

I'm looking up at the sky like you told me to
it's beautiful
But there's only so much one person can appreciate
I need you, my friend, to tell me more about the beautiful night sky

2006-02-13T10:35:00.000+08:00

Mood = A state of emotion

Have you ever been in a situation whereby you are so led by your emotions that you make mistakes you regret later? I have. I was watching naruto and in one episode a dude was telling his son

"don't live a life filled with regrets"

The cool thing about it is
he didn't say don't live a life with regrets, but, don't live a life filled with regrets. We're only human. We make mistakes. I do. I'm not trying to say that it's okay to make mistakes however when one is made, there's no use crying over it saying that all is lost. What's done cannot be undone, i'm sure you've heard that phrase before. So what do you do then? Pick yourself up and learn from it. Move on. There will be consequences...deal with it... move on

Of course it's easier said than done. No one did say life's going to be easy. Not even the bible.

Everybody goes through the same thing... the same problems... but what makes one different from another, are the decisions they make when in trouble. Choose the right path

Be a man, do the right thing

2006-01-09T15:51:00.000+08:00

"I'm afraid of the future

I've not acheived anything

My dreams are big

Almost too big...

I need to make sacrifices

But can i bear the losses"

Will you keep me company?

Will you see me to the top?

Will you stand by my side?

Will you hold me if i cry?

Will you catch me if i fall?

Will you?

I know i will to you

2005-12-28T16:27:00.000+08:00

I just realised that all the guys i know who have blogs (what a mouthful) use floober chatterbox, whereas the girls use this weird text thing which so happens to be the only tagboard i can access in my office because of the firewall the paranoid computer guys in the office set up. (breathe)

And because of that, i can only tag the girls. Which makes me kinda like a flirt. But then again, i'm a flirt. So ladies, if i'm talking to you, i'm not trying to be nice, or a bigger brother, or a nice stranger who so happens to want to know your name, telephone no and the place where you stay. i'm a flirt who needs validation. That's who i am.

Once a friend asked me

"Hey man, there's this one girl that's really cool as a friend but she's so hot i can't just be her friend. What should i do?"

My answer,

"Introduce her to me"

Anyway, how does this flirt thing works?

i'm a guy, you're a girl
i talk to you
you respond
i'm flirting?

I'm a guy, you're a girl
i call you
you respond
i'm flirting?

I'm a guy, you're a guy
i frubs you
you respond
i'm...sick?
Okay i'll stop

Anyway, i had this chat with lang not too long ago and we had this amazingly interesting topic. I can't quote everything we said (in fact, i don't think i can quote anything we said) but it was about why guys seek girls attention or something like that. I think we were drunk on milo peng. Well, it's like a trophy when a girl calls you good looking. It's funny how guys can get so animated when girls are around. Sometimes, i'm guilty. Voice gets louder, actions exagerated even digging your nose can be exaggerated, like using your thumb. The funnier thing though, is that the girls actually like it. It's absolutely amazely hilarious. No they don't? That's what you say. Don't let me catch you playing that "mimi" game.

I guess it's hard not to make girls a part of our life cause God made them beautiful and guys are not meant to be alone but i'm guessing, if they are the ones we look towards for validation, we're going down the wrong track. I mean, go ahead and socialise, be friends, one day you will need to marry. But don't lead people on. Don't be like me. If you're not sure who's the right girl (there isn't THE ONE), i say widen your social circle. You don't have to get into a relationship to find out who the girl really is. People use that excuse all the time. In fact, on the contrary, people tend to act themselves in groups. WHAT A SURPRISE! I'm sure you knew that already.

Well, i'm learning this. And it's getting harder each day. My heart cries out for a woman. But in my head, i know i'm not ready. But you'll never know. I'm might be ready tomorrow ;)
Correction: I'm sure i'm ready tomorrow

lol, i don't even know what i'm saying now
okay, i leave you girls with this

"If i want to get to know you, I can be the nicest person in the whole wide world." "Nice guys" should finish last.

Superstar, i wanna be where you are

2005-11-09T17:14:00.000+08:00

I've got a problem

There are so many things i wanna do
but it hit me that i can't do all alone....
There are so many things that i've said i wanna do
but i've not done
makes me a member of NATO (No Action Talk Only)
Not that it's true... I do want to get down to doing it
but right now, i'm lacking the resources
Will you help me out here

I'm just going to throw the stuff i want to do here
If you think you can help me with whatever,
message or tag me

1) Grow DOC to the size of 200 members
2) Write an album
3) Start a major outreach program
4) Create a really cool guestbook for new comers
5) Update Elliot's website with flash -es
6) Start a drama ministry
7) Buy a lap top (Anyone rich enough to get me one?)
8) Build my personal library
9) Learn that brazilian dance
10) Become rich

Yeah, that's about it for now. But i'm sure more will pop up every now and then

p.s Anyway, LS (does he even come online?) i really appreciate you taking your time to do your "Home work" I'm proud of you =) What we need to do now is to fine tune your plan and then execute it.

Do you have the time to listen to me whine

2005-10-31T16:15:00.000+08:00

I just realised that i'm quite a whiner

" HmMmMM! Kor Kor took my cho-co-late!"

But hey, do you have the time to listen to me whine*
Cause i think it makes me feel better
it's cool to be a kid sometimes
but if you whine forever like Rachel
it's irritating!
lol! Don't get mad rach, you know i like you
but stop whining! =)

Oh hey, to the Mother Tongue O'levels people,
It's over! Go play! But don't die
or take drugs (except what the doctor prescribes to you)

i remember once emimem (is that how i spell his nick?) said
"Kids, don't do drugs..." and i'm like wow, this guy actually do care about the society... but he went on "...let me do them"

Anyhow, my dad once told me, "son, when it's time to play, play hard! when it's time to study, study smart!" I'll leave that to whoever reads this.

Do you guys still bother to come? lol, it's been almost 2 months since i lasted blogged huh.. I know sam and Big D does. Haha, sam with his erm... random posts and Big D with his sick, "please i deserve to get smack" and sometimes really encouraging posts. I like you guys too =)
Anyway, people, if you read my blog, tag =) So i know who i'm talking to

Really, i'm blogging because Yeronn and Big D asked me too
So dudes, if you don't tag... i will DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO YOU
be afraid

Haha! How random is this post
However, it really helps pass time
One hour more before home baby!

oh! I think the girls should get together as a band
there's potential! was talking to mark and jess and they were pretty impressed
so, use the gift already!
Jia lun! (somebody pls tell her to read this) all this while what have you been doing!!?
Go play keys for the worship team! Goodness... sometimes you can make me puke blood (haha, read that in chinese "tui shuai" ir something like that lah)

Well i think that's about it.

oh one more thing

Hey, thanks for asking about me, twice
little things like this cheer me up
haha, i'm just a little different from you i guess
you need to talk
i need to think
give me awhile
i'll buy you ice cream the next time i see you
thanks again

Alright. End. TAG PEOPLE!

Friday

2005-09-16T13:42:00.000+08:00

It's FRIDAY! I don't know about you but the air smells fresher on fridays. The sky's B-E-A-U-TIFUL. My world seems more colorful. Magical Fridays. I love Fridays.

It marks the end of long dreadful work and the beginning of a wonderful weekend. On a friday, weakness is taken away, and power is given! Jesus died as man (weakness) and 3 days later, he rose as God!

I love Fridays. ;)

Friends

2005-09-09T14:13:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking about my friends

Who is real? Who just wants my money? (What money Dixon?) My $20 in My wallet strange voice in my head. (Oh, okay)

It's hard sometimes isn't it. The world's getting so hypocritical, it's hard to tell who's for real.

What's the definition of friend?

Dictionary.com gives 4 defns

1) A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2) A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3) A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4) One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement

Do you trust me? Do you trust that i know what i'm doing?
Do you trust me as a family member, that i'll play my part
Do you like me as one
Do you trust me as a bigger/smaller brother, that i can take care of you and myself
Do you like me as one
Do you trust me as a leader, that the whatever decisions i make, you'll follow
Do you like me as one
Do you trust me as a father, that sometimes i see the bigger picture and know what's good for you
Do you like me as one

Well, if you don't, lets be mature and talk about it =)
Don't keep bottle it cause i will never know then
and when you start to judge me, i think it's unfair

Oh btw, i wrote this song awhile back. I really like the lyrics. Whoever reads this and wants to comment, please do =) I think i can deal with constructive criticism.

"You think you've been denied from the rights of life again
You try to compromise, redesign yourself
You feel left alone and you've no where to go,
you feel like, you feel like, you're all alone

But you couldn't see, could you
You think it's the end of you"

I didn't really finish the song. But give me awhile. I should finish it soon enough

2005-09-08T13:46:00.000+08:00

I am thinking about love.

How does it work?

Do we love due to the absence of it or do we love whenever we feel like it.

How do we feel love? Is that all it is? What if we don't feel it. What happens then?

How do you know you're loved?

When i say I love you, what do i really mean? Spurred by the moment maybe? It felt right?
Can we not feel yet love?

Love's a choice. I think it's more mind then emotion. Love is hard to follow, hard to choose, hard to understand. Yet love is the one thing that drives us. Love is the one thing that we want to follow, one that that we have chosen, one that there we want to comprehend.

Love is God.

I love you really means, lets live this life with God in the center, between you and me

My little fear

2005-08-29T15:51:00.000+08:00

I've to say that i'm a little scare of school. It has been so long since i had a test or an exam. Sometimes i feel silly but then again, i still know the answer to what's 1+1. I can't be that stupid now can i?

I guess what's pressuring me really is that my mum paid a whole lot of money for my classes. Now we don't have a whole lot of money. But somehow she managed to squeeze something out. It makes me wanna make her proud. To say, "Look mum, i've got an A+ for school" with a wide grin on my face like the primary school kid i was last year. Btw, i'm twenty.

The night classes are killing me. After a long day's work, you enter a class with a boring lecturer. What do you do? Let me remind you how mentally straining my work is. A nagging supervisor and a lazy colleague. Did i mention my pay? I've to take alot out of me just to practice submission. AND YOU GO TO CLASS WITH A BORING LECTURER!!! Sorry, my caps lock was on.

Well, but that that doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger. Pray for me. Pray that it literally kills me.

Lol! I'm just kidding. Now now, don't think i'm suicidal. I believe that 1+1 can make me a great man! Just you wait and see. But for now, i need to work on my assignment. Anyone wants to accompany me?

I'm Back

2005-08-26T08:39:00.000+08:00

I'm back. Ready to take on the world again.

Are you for me? or are you against me?

I'm going to lead and that's where i think or rather know i will be
Are you going to come along side? Follow my lead or take things the way you want it to be.
God's has called me here, and i'll be here till i'm called else where. Until then, like it or not ;) It's my face you will see.

Are you for me? or against me?

World Domination!

Not dead, just not moving

2005-08-17T09:17:00.000+08:00

There's so much to do, but time forbids us from completing all. So we've got to choose.

Choices. It's hard sometimes don't you think?

Thoughts. Why can't i stop. I need to sleep.

Sleep. A waste of time but a necessity.

___________________________________________

A nice lady said that the spirit of DOC is changing for the better. I can't agree more. I've to say, i'm impress with where these guys and girls are going. But let us remain humble for it's the humble people that will be exalted and the proud, ridiculed. Besides, i believe a hugh part of where we're at now is God's doing. Because He has done His best, we now have to do ours.

"Am i still serving people?" is the question i ask myself daily. I quote John Maxwell. " The best leaders are those who serve." Are you as a leader serving? or are you being served? I like the way church works. The world's hierarchy is in the shape of a triangle, where the leader sits on the top and everyone's working to support that one head. But the church's hierarchy is in the shape of a diamond (Upside-down triangle). The leader's position is found at the lowest tip of the diamond, where he/she supports everyone that he/she is leading.

Can you picture it? Call me if you can't, i will gladly explain to you.

Why am i saying all this? Well, 2 things. One, is so that you can check on yourselves. Are you serving your people? or are you being served. And the other, so that you can check on me. I don't want pride to take the best of me. Am i serving you as a leader, or am i wanting to be served by you?

2005-07-14T13:25:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i feel like i'm walking on a tread made of steel. Some call it a wire. I lean slightly towards the right. I lose balance, plummet into the face of the world, it's mouth is open, i fall through that. Some call it a bottomless pit, until they hit the ground and realise it's them that's bottom less now. Solitary confined by boundaries unseen. Some call it strongholds. I call it NS. But you can call it whatever you like. I just think NS relates to me more.

The rains not helping. I'm getting moody which is a symptom of a man in dire need for clean fun.

Well, i'm getting tired... lack of sleep. The words of brian houston fill my head. "There should be no lack, but an overflow!"

Do i make sense?

Random

2005-06-23T13:55:00.000+08:00

If it's not possible to make everybody happy
then what will you choose?
Self gain? or self pity?
-----------------------------------------
I asked a friend if he believe it's true
he said, "i don't think it's true, neither is it false."
what does that mean? Does it add up to anything?
-----------------------------------------
If the grass is always greener on the other side,
why don't we try our hardest to stay contented with our side

Btw, i think the show batman is cool
Go watch it if you have not

It's amazing

2005-06-02T10:31:00.000+08:00

Just wondering

Why do people pour out their feelings in blogs like this?
Is it because we want to be heard yet too afraid to speak?
or really is there no one we can talk to but to confide to the virtual world
or maybe it's because we want to let the the whole world in to our lives (after all, that's what the internet is for right. Global connection)

Anyway, it's just a thought.

Life for me now is like a ritual. A cycle revolving around work, home, church. It's getting a little stale and that's not the way it should be. Come to think about it, i'm only a year away from adulthood. Come to think about it again, it's giving me an uncanny feeling.

"With greater power comes greater responsibility"

I look back on my life. It's saddening that i've achieved little or maybe not at all. However i am proud of one thing and for now, it's the closest thing to my heart.

The people in DOC.

It excites me and really i am proud that everyone has grown so much both physically and spritually. I mean Josiah can probably squeeze my guts out. I see the ladies turning from girls to young women and the guys from "eeeeE girls yucks!" to fine young gentlemen. It's amazing! and i thank God for them. Well, it has only been 3-4 years but in this time, i've learnt alot from them. Patience, long suffering, erm patience, long suffering. haha! Nah, people say that we need to teach the younger generations the way of life. I say that's all good but really, we need to learn from them as well. There are things that big slobs like us just don't understand... (i sound old here)

And then there are the leaders and helpers that make DOC happen. I mean who stays in meetings for 4-6 hrs just listening to Dixon speak. It's a one way ticket to insanity. Who bites on their pride just to let Dixon gets his way sometimes. Who listens to Dixon whine about nothing at all. Who makes sure everything is going in order when Dixon messes up. Who submits to authority like Dixon!? They do. And everytime i think about it in my little room made up of egg shells, i tear because God have blessed me so much! It's amazing...it's amazing

Need list

2005-06-01T15:16:00.000+08:00

I need a band. One that makes good music and one that gels well.

I need to specialise in something.

I need money

I need you

Won't you help me please?

Ego

2005-05-26T00:13:00.000+08:00

I think i deserve more then this

Pardon me

2005-05-06T09:14:00.000+08:00

I just realised that i may have offended alot of people.
The scary part is, i know nothing of it.

Some were nice and told me about it.
Others tried to be nice and acted like nothing happened.
Few were mean and gave me the silence treatment.

Well, if i've offended you, please tell me about it.
Sometimes, i really do not know how you feel. Maybe i'm insensitive. So help me out.
Please don't keep quiet about it?

Well,I apologise to those i've hurt. Will you forgive me?

Fathers

2005-04-15T00:30:00.000+08:00

How are you guys with your fathers?

Mark asked me not too long ago whether i miss mine.
I thought about it for awhile.
Well, it's been awhile that anyone talked to me about my father. And it's been awhile that Mark and I had serious talks. So i was caught dumbfounded. At that moment i really didn't know what to say.

Do I? or do i not?

I guess i've left this portion of me alone for awhile while i was taking on the world. Today, it has decided to haunt me once again.

Ever felt really loved by your dad? And you're thinking of getting him something for dinner tonight? I envy you.
Do you hate your father for not letting you out on a saturday? Hate him because you can't do the things you want to do? I envy you.

Well, treat them nice no matter how they treat you. I believe, deep down inside their hearts cry when you do. Don't take them for granted. Please.

"I will run a mile
just to see you smile.
I will not cry
Just to keep your eyes dry"

One hurt found. One wound closed.

Sexist and relationship

2005-04-13T13:13:00.000+08:00

Today, i play the role of a sexist.

Now before you get frantic with anger and frustration screaming, "What can be worst then a male chauvinistic pig!?", I'll save you the trouble of asking. Answer: What's worst then a male chauvinist is a woman who doesn't do what she was told to do.

"Dixon, why are you still single?"

I don't know. Girls don't seem to like me and i've no idea why.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyway, i had an interesting talk with a buddy of mine just yesterday. And suprisingly, we somehow stumbled into the topic, girls. You see, when guys come together, we usually talk about sports, cars, video games, golf, britney but seldom will we talk about girls. It's just not masculine. Not a guy thing. I'm guessing we were drunk then. So he went on about how he had a girlfriend and they broke up but he still loves her. How he wish he can stop thinking about her. How he tries his hardest to keep his mind busy... He asked me what was on my mind..

I thought...I thought it was rather silly that he's doing everything that he doesn't want to do.

I can't say that i'm an expert at the game of love. In fact, i'm just as clueless. But i do know however, that we shouldn't run away from it. It'll just haunt us more.

Analogy: If you're hungry, you don't go starving yourself. You find food.

Now, i'm not asking everyone to jump right in and be lead by your feelings. All i'm saying is that you should find "healthier food".

"Oh no...here we go...Dixon's on it again...give us a break..."

Shut up and listen. Instead of getting into a BG relationship, be friends.

"Yes but i'll feel weird"

If that's what you're saying, trust me when i say you've got your motives to start a relationship wrong. All healthy relationships start off with the couple being friends, enjoying what friends do. You don't think so? Okay, stop reading now. The rest will also mean nothing to you.

I believe that for guys, you've got to get your stuff right. You've got to be steady steady bom pi pi. You know what i mean? As a bible believeing christian, i like to take adam as an example. When God first made him, what did God do? He gave Adam the whole of eden to reign in. Gave him the authority to name the beasts. (I'll call a baboon Redalert by the way) Gave Him a field to play soccer in. Only when God thinks that Adam's got it, he's ready and knows how to look after himself, God gave Adam Eve. Similiarly, if you really want a relationship that will last and not a girl just to hug or a guy to spend his money, you need first to be steady steady bom pi pi.

I think that's it. But i'll love to end with this. It's not easy... I'm still learning as well. Let's get this together.

2005-04-08T15:42:00.000+08:00

I love to song write. during the happy times, during the sad times. Why? Well, i don't know. But they say that music can heal your soul. Some even wrote songs about that. "let the music heal your soul"? ring any bell besides your door bell, church bell, taco bell?

Anyway, i'm attempting another song. here's the draft

" I'm lost for words
i cannot speak

the love you've shown
is mine to own

I don't deserve the grace you give
You gave yourself for me to live

You washed our feets
when you are King

you walked the road
that was meant for me

You blessed the ones
that cursed your soul

You lived your life to set us free"

well, there we go. I hope all you pretty people (guys and girls) will like it. Better yet, it's making you think a little =)

If only i knew

2005-04-07T08:34:00.000+08:00

I could never have seen the blessings
The little things that i took for granted.
Now that i've slowed down, everything's falling into place.
And it's beautiful

So i've decided to write a song
It goes something like this

"If only i knew
the wind that whispered
was your voice all along

If only i knew
the clouds that sheltered me
were your hands all along

If only i knew
the colors in the sky
are the promises that you gave me
If only i knew"

Fortunate for me, now i know.

I was reminded of a short clip that was projected during TNT(Tried and True, my youth church)one day. The scene of a man. Blood gushing out from open wounds all over his body. A crowd gathered. Some were laughing, others were in tears, some were silent, some couldn't be bothered. I watch as the man climbed the hill, weak as he was, he climbed. He had only one thought in mind.

Us.

Stress?

2005-04-04T11:09:00.000+08:00

I went for my medical check-up today. Had my blood pressure taken and it's slightly low.
They say it's stress. I think they are right.

----------------------------------------------------------

I've a story to tell. It's been told but i'll say it again anyway.

There was once a clown, who makes people happy. But deep down inside, he's really sad. Also...
....to be continued...

Well, I dreamt that i will make it big one day. Today, i've decided to live it out.

I give up

2005-04-02T22:02:00.000+08:00

I give up

Tell the world that

2005-03-29T08:32:00.000+08:00

I'm really impressed with HillSongs. Go check their new album out. Pay close attention to "Tell the world that".

Anyway, i experienced tremor yesterday. Singh kapoh had been shaken a couple of times before but it was my first yesterday, or rather, this morning. I woke my family and we decided to evacuate! We took what we thought was the most important to us, our handphones, just in case the building decides to fall on us. And when we're trapped in the debris, we can at least make our last call to whoever we want to.

Who will i call you ask?

You

My mum and brother because they have got their handphones too.

Just another Story

2005-03-28T08:30:00.000+08:00

Am i just another story

Of a man, who had gained but lost all in the end?

There must be more that i can do

2005-03-27T22:50:00.000+08:00

There must be more that i can do...

I'm inspired. Are you?

2005-03-22T21:25:00.000+08:00

I received a mail
And in this mail, there are heaps of really cheesy lines.
However, as cheesy as they sound, they actually make a whole lot of sense.
I've decided to write them down.

Anger is only one letter short of danger.

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.

He, who loses money, loses much; He, who loses a friend, loses much more; He, who loses faith, loses all.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift.

I'm inspired. Are you?

We've got our yesterdays

2005-03-18T11:16:00.000+08:00

I just figured that when we lay to sleep today and wake the next morning, we've gained yesterday.

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The world is full of stories, but the stories are all one.
Everything happens for a reason. Some reasons are made known while others are kept a secret. Only time will tell.

It's just sad that mine, for now, is a secret that God's keeping. The only thing that i was advised to do... "kill my expectations..."

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So how's everybody doing anyway? It seems awfully quiet in here. Except for Wei who by the way also disappeared... and what's worst, WITH MY BOOK!

A blessing in disguise

2005-03-13T22:38:00.000+08:00

I've been cursed so that i can bless

Maybe you can help

2005-02-28T23:23:00.000+08:00

I've got poor time management. Maybe you can help. How do i get organised? Maybe you can help. I'm lazy. Maybe you can help.

Maybe you can help. I'm running in circles and i can't seem to find a way out. Maybe you can help. I'm tired and i need rest. Maybe you can help.

I feel neglected. Maybe you can help. I'm scare to lose you. Maybe you can help. I need someone to talk to. Maybe you can help. I'm lonely. Maybe you can help.

Maybe you can help. Just maybe you can help.

Chinese New Year

2005-02-10T10:35:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year

I painted my door red. They say that the lion monster will be rather perturb by the color. I think it's true. Till now, i'm sitting safe and sound on my sofa sipping my coffee. It's remarkable what little color is, yet so big it seems.

Beware of the lion monster. Paint your door red.

Super Power

2004-11-20T23:13:00.000+08:00

If you can have any power in the world, what will you choose?

Right now, i choose the power to control time. I want to quicken the days. However, part of me wants to drag the days too... I've my reasons... There's so much going on now. So many changes... isn't it scary to change sometimes? If only change was evitable.

but it isn't. The grass is always greener on the other side, you'll just need to learn to adapt to the land you're on now. Easily said huh? Well, we haven't got a choice have we? Keep on going. Keep on going.

I'm blessed yet i'm sad

2004-10-23T02:35:00.000+08:00

Tonight, i'm thinking about the inequities in my life. And i've come to a realisation that all when compared to the world's are invalid. My "sufferings" are considered blessings to many around the world.

However, can i accept the fact that i'm really blessed and pretend that i'm not sad? Not quite. I don't think it's right. So what do I?

I can't be bothered to think 3 am in the morning

I'm just going to hold on to psalms 16:8-11 for now.

I'm back

2004-10-16T01:50:00.000+08:00

It's been a long while....

Well, blame it on the government. For those who don't know, i'm now serving my NS as a police trainee. Well, compared to the army, it's really slack....but compared to a civilian, it's hell! And for those who don't know what hell is, Tried N True (TNT) is on every saturday at 5.30 up Mount Sophia for now. There you will taught everything from heaven to hell, life and death, love and hate.

Anyway, i think life now is alright. I don't really like the police academy but i'm guessing that God has put me there for a reason. I just need to figure it out before i go bonkers. Maybe God wants me to receive the gift of long suffering... hmmmm...is that really it God?

To those who have been visiting my blog and were dissapointed everything you come, i'm really sorry. All i have to say now is, "Blame it on the government."
I will try, but i doubt it, to write something every friday when i book out of camp. Till then, keep me in your prayers for those who pray and those who don't, you should consider starting =)

Tired

2004-08-25T23:55:00.000+08:00

I'm tired...

My spirit is broken,
my soul is destroyed.

Seems like i've lost the battle

I have a dream

2004-08-17T02:01:00.000+08:00

I have a dream

that there will always be food lying around in my refrigerator.

I can't believe that i'm hungry now. There must be more to life then just food... i'm sure there is. Man do not live by bread alone.

Bread sounds so good now... If only i've got a slice of bread, filled with condensed milk spread all around it. Man, what a treat!

Anyway, i was playing my brother's game cube not too long. The game's called eternal darkness. It's a freaky game man. It's about a lady, Alex (for short) whose grandfather was brutally murdered in his mansion (it's always a mansion isn't in where weird stuffs take place) In search for the culprit behind the murder, she stumbled across a tomb. In it are stories of historical happenings. And as she reads through each chapter of the tome, she is sent back in time (kinda like a flashback but the only difference is that it's actually happening... confused yet?) and you get to play the person she's reading about. Anyway, the cool thing about the game, is that the ending of the chapters all link to a bigger picture that i've not yet discovered. And as the game progress, the more exciting the story gets! Freaky part of the game is that stuff just pop up suddenly to scare the wits out of you. Stuff as in really ugly creatures. Think William Hunk's imposter.

Alright, i think i'm going food hunting now. There's got to be something edible around here...

Battle to be remembered

2004-08-15T06:07:00.000+08:00

There's nothing better then to spend a day to its fullest. Didn't einstein say something about sleep being not essential? Well, i think he's right. I'm sitting here in front of my com at 5 am thinking that i've won the battle against the sleep fairy. I saw it come, swinging it's wand like a sword in a raging battle. My comrades fell one by one. It was I and another that didn't want to give in. We fought hard, back to back with all our might. Nothing else mattered. We had to win...

I hear the sound of birds. Such beautiful voices. Have i won? Has morning come to my rescue? Is the darkness banished? I'm the only survival now. My only friend was taken away. Maybe i should give up too. My opponent is too strong. I'm growing weaker by the second..

No! I must win...

3am

2004-08-14T03:25:00.000+08:00

3am in the morning.

I'm watching the opening of the Olympics. There are a few countries i haven't heard of.

Signed in to multiply.com. It's this really cool program (something like groups but a little better)
Read the messages, eyes grew heavy, need sleep. Signed out, came to blog. Read chatterbox, laughed a little. Realised i've got silly friends. Yawn...need sleep

Signing out

The day i cried in my dreams

2004-08-02T01:41:00.000+08:00

I love the song "Comfortable" by John Mayer. Just so you know.

Today, i've shared life with someone close. It's been awhile really since i said so much about me to a single person. Well, if you know who you are, i just wanna say thank you for listening =) It was nice.
__________________________________________________________

And so, we've lost the game and i saw everything from the stone steps that everyone grew afraid or tired of. Only one remained. I really admire him sometimes. To think that he was unrightly (if there's such a word) judged, he continued to stay. Lol, he complained alot about it but i guess he being there was cool enough =)
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Big Brother

2004-07-23T22:13:00.000+08:00

Having a bigger brother is heaps cool.

Having a bigger brother that shares your pc and internet connection may be a little not so cool.

Having a bigger brother that hogs the pc the whole day... not cool at all

Having a bigger brother that wants to use the com everynight, allowing me only a few mins online... I consider that a sin

Oh God, hear my cry, i want a smaller brother...

Bring it on

2004-07-14T20:00:00.000+08:00

I promised someone i will write about what she said and so here it is

"What are guys, i don't need guys"

If only that was true. If only love was something you can switch off anytime you want. But here's the news flash! You can't. (zoolander style) To tell yourself that you do not "need" a guy is to live in self denial. To tell yourself that you hate the guy that you think about everyday is a... lie.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to say that you should get yourself involved in a relationship! All i'm saying is that you should not shun your feelings for that particuliar person. But instead, learn how to cultivate that feeling. Yes, you like that particular person, but are you ready to say "I do". Do you really love that person that you are willing to grow old with him/her?

"YES I AM! I REALLY THINK SO!"

If so, then what's waiting a few more years being friends with that person? After all, you are going to spend the rest of your life with him/her

"BUT I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I NEED TO BE WITH HIM OR HER!"

Uh huh! Think about it. Uncle Jacob did tell us not to waste our youth. His exact words were to PROTECT our youth. Believe it or not, there are many things that we have yet to learn. Many years that we have yet to live out. Won't it be a waste if we spend so much time trying to get into a relationship with someone? Harshly, won't we be neglecting God's work?

"But God has got a wry sense of humour!"

But God sees the bigger picture. Can you say that a mountain is beautiful when all you see is the feet of it? Can you say that a movie is good when you only saw the first 5 minutes of it? Let's talk a little about metamorphosis.

"Look at that digusting worm!"

A few days later

"What the heck is that?"

A few more days later

"Wow, a butterfly!"

What are you talking about Dixon? I'm saying that good things will come to those who wait. A sword is made from steel made from ore. God sees the finished product. All we see is the process to that finish product.

"I don't believe in God"

Maybe you should. Go figure. One should never judge unless one knows what he is judging.

I think i'm done. ^^ Now you guys can bombard me with critisms!

Bring it on

Bitches and whores

2004-07-09T10:45:00.000+08:00

Devon reminds me of bitches and whores...

Not that he's one but he knows a few well enough to righteously judge them. Or does he? He says he does...

Anyway, i woke up today finding myself living in the ice age. Everything was cold. My room temperature, my bath water (with the heater turned to the highest) and my glass of water which i took from the fridge. Freezing...

But now, things are better. I see water dropets forming on my glass of freezing water. They call that condensation. I call it "water droplets forming on my glass of freezing water". Soon the heat will take over, dictate and rule the next half of the day. I now sit naked in front of my computer, waiting for the heat to become unbearable.

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I ask myself a question everyday. "What can i do today?" And i get the same answer everyday. "I don't know". This must change. I need to come up with a plan. Get my self introduced to busyiness(some people call it business). I need to open my social circle. It's been too small and only now i realise that it has become like a dormant volcano, latent but capable of becoming of being activated...

Don't get me wrong sally, i'm not trying to save the girls this time. I'm trying to save me. But if you're still pissed off, i suggest you go grab some food.

And dev, i'm sure there's gold in the heart of bitches. Lets give them a better name. Something like, Pray... Haha!

A new plan

2004-07-09T01:14:00.000+08:00

I've got a new plan
Just you wait

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Tonight's not a good night. Bad news and bad luck... Not a good night.

1 am... I'm feeling a little delirious. I'm broke and broken. One to do with money and the other with my emotions. They say that the best musicians are those with the weirdest mood swings. I guess that makes me one too. I was happy not too long ago but now i'm sad. Excited not too long ago but now i'm lethargic. I reckon i need sleep but sleep is just a waste of another day. Yet without sleep, one cannot live... Isn't this all too confusing?

I'm inspired to write a song now, but the silence(of the night) isn't really helping much. To hit a note now is to wake even the dead that is buried a few meters into the earth... Won't be a nice sight. Or neighbours with cleavers that will cut into me a few meters... not a nice sight at all. So what then should i do? Wait till the morning and lose all inspiration? Or rock and roll! and lose my head? and wake the dead that is buried meters below ground.

My favourite friend once told me that "The power is yours!" i guess one day, i will fully grasp the meaning of that.

Do they care?

2004-07-05T10:22:00.000+08:00

Awaken by my cousins...
they want to play the game cube...
Have they ever spared a thought for me?
I'm tired but do they care?
I don't think so...

An hour can do so much
but do they care? no...
ignorant little brats
They have got no idea what's going on
but i love them sometimes,
just not this time

Alright, poem time

She's everywhere, all around me.
there is nothing else i can see.
The sky spells out her name,
like a lion that cannot be tamed
i watch the things she touch turn gold,
becoming precious to my eyes alone.

Really, this is hard... I don't think i can master the art any time soon. So girls, you've got to protect yourself for a while more. But fret not, soon i will come. Soon i will save you all.

Murdered by night

2004-06-29T00:33:00.000+08:00

So the night kills another beautiful day

Time flies really fast. And happy days won't last.
What good will memory do, if what memory is is not with you
When the sun falls and the moon dominates, the time has come
to say the words that i dread the most.
Good bye to you, the one i've grown to love

I heard that poetry was the art of seduction and my poor attempt to master it isn't really helping me out to get the girls. If only i knew the art, or better, if only i was the art itself.

Why am i trying to get the girls you say? Well, to tell you frankly, i'm actually saving them from the world full of "colored wolves" (translated directly from chinese) They will do anything to get the girl. And once they've gotten what they want, only God knows what they are going to do. However, that wouldn't happen if i get all the girls first. Like the emperor of the ching dynasty, i will treat them like my concubines and feed them well. What a hero i am don't you agree.

Enough is said. Right now, i need to get down to learning the art. So excuse me, my task is too important to mess up.

P.s I hope you know when i'm joking and when i'm not. Right now, i'm not.

Dreams

2004-06-24T19:51:00.000+08:00

I had dreams today. Yes, multiple dreams. Or rather, nightmares.

My first dream.

I was filled with jealously. I have grown to love someone so much, she becomes a possession. It was a scary dream. Not comfortable...not comfortable at all. How i wish it will never come true. Love is never meant to become a possession.

My second dream.

My mum comes up to me and says, "no she's not it. She's a bad girl, known for being notorious. Bad girl." And i'm like what?! Haha, no way! But the dream was so real i woke and asked my mum whether she was talking to me. I'm glad she said no...

I had other dreams but i can't really remember what they are. All these in the time span of 16 hours. Queer...

When i meet Jesus one day, i will ask him about dreams and what they mean. Till then, i pray that i will only have sweet dreams.

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If you don't really know what i'm talking about, it's cool. Cause i don't really know too. I'm just writing this out for remembrance.

Anyhow, I'm back

2004-06-23T11:16:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since i last wrote something in this journal of mine. But you can't blame me. The past few weeks were packed with stuff to do!

Even now!

Anyhow, i'm back

Ill try to keep this updated (really sometimes my life isn't that exciting)

Sick

2004-06-11T18:38:00.000+08:00

I feel so sick...

Love

2004-06-04T08:04:00.000+08:00

"If you really love her, you've got to learn to let her go."

Words from a fairy godmother.

There's alot of truth in this one sentence. If really there's true love, then true love means seeing the best happen to that person you love. Is it right to say that i truely love you when nothing is sacrificed?

David said that he will not bring anything to the lord that costed him nothing. Now that's true love. There's a price to pay for love. Even God had to pay that price. He sent his son to die for our sins because he so loved the world. Which reminds me that the one person who really knows what love is, is God himself. Really, all we need to do is to depend on him fully.

"But i need something more practical! I know God is in charge and all but right now, he's not hearing me. He's probably sleeping or really busy with george bush. I need to know what i can do to this one person i really like"

To all that are going through this (yes, we're not alone... everyone is going through this) all i want to say to you now is that if you truely love that person, you've got to learn to let go for now. Rhordan said it right, that God made a promise that he will always be there. Never leave nor forsake you? sounds familiar?

"Sometimes just because we can't feel God doesn't mean that he's not there."
I only recently learnt this... in fact, only yesterday, these words pierced my heart. How silly i must have been. God must had been smiling. The angels probably were laughing their heads off. I looked at myself and smiled... haha, there's humour in heaven. Yeah, i was the joke but i wasn't angry. The picture of the angels and God laughing somehow comforted me. They are watching me.

Now that i know God is watching me, even though he's quiet, i know he's there. And because he's there for me, i know that he has got a plan in my life. And yes, if i really love her, i must learn to let her go. If she's not the one then God will bring a better one for me. I must learn to respect that decision God is making. After all, i'm the one that's going to benefit from all this. So why the fuss?

Thank you father

I'm not superman

2004-05-26T11:17:00.000+08:00

She's killing me

My nights and days are torn apart just thinking about her. So much to do for her this coming month. Will she appreciate my sweat and blood? Or will she take me for granted. I hate it when she puts up a front. I hate it even more that i'm totally clueless to her sophisticated mind.

I thought i had her, i thought wrong.

Now, i've to start all over again. Or maybe i should take the easy way out and walk away. RUN AWAY! Then again, can i really run away from what's always on my mind?

Can someone help me out? Join DOC and fight the battle together?

You look yellow

2004-05-21T00:56:00.000+08:00

I had a conversation with Bart Simpson. It went something like this

Bart: Hey man, you look blue...

Me: You look yellow.

Bart: I am yellow.

Me: That's right my asian bro!

Bart: No, but i'm caucasian.

Me: Oh.

Bart: You alright?

Me: How can i be all right when nobody is perfect?

Bart: You know what i mean...

Me: B-Art, like a second grade art?

Bart: NO! not what my name means but what i mean when i say what i said?

Me: Huh?

Bart: Goodness, you're driving me up the wall

Me: That's impossible based on 3 facts. Firstly, we're not in a car. Secondly, a car cannot be driven up a wall. Lastly, i haven't got my licence yet.

Bart: Dude, you know what? forget it...

Me: Forget what?

Bart: I can't be bothered...

Me: ?

Bart: ...

Me: Hey man, you look blue.

Bart: You look yellow...

Silent night

2004-05-16T01:35:00.000+08:00

The night brings about a certainty of loneliness.

Nights where my mind takes over, living a life of it's own, almost as if i had lost my body to it's manipulation. If only there's an on-off switch i can use to shut down my rebellious mind. But the truth is screaming it's head off, "there isn't."

The truth hurts but it will set you free. Brave words from a brave soul. However it's the actions that speaks louder then words. And now, it's almost as if i'm faced with insuperable odds, where i can't control my stubborn mind. Always bringing me back to the thoughts that i dread.

But enough said tonight. I will (hopefully remember) to write again tomorrow

A day to love

2004-05-08T00:56:00.000+08:00

I want to write a book

who's with me?

Here are my characters

Bob

yeah, that's it so far

Inbetween 4 Walls

2004-05-05T23:04:00.000+08:00

i can hear my wall clock ticking away...

Yes, you guessed it... i've got super hearing. Got it one day when i was stucked at home with nothing to do. Inbetween 4 walls they say brings about magical powers

That's all i've got to say for now

And so it begins

2004-04-29T08:19:00.000+08:00

Ah, a post
i created a mess when i started this new blog. I wasn't sure which one i would use. And because of that, i stopped posting for awhile... but now i'm back

I called the army and they told me that i'll be enlisted latest october. Can they be trusted? Will they make me then break me? No, don't get me wrong... i hate the army but because i know i can't run away from it, i will like to finish it fast. So here i am begging them to get me in, "please please! let me in or i will huff and puff and blow your house in" I love fairy tales

By the way, i travelled all the way to WMUM just to be disappointed. Not only is the place a few hundred times smaller then i thought it was (i don't think i'm exaggerating), the super chorus that i wanted is second hand! (i don't mind second pedal but this one is crap) However, they do sell electro-harmonix's gears and i got to hear the small clone (which is something like a chorus pedal) and i think i like it. Now tell me, should i travel all the way back to get it? I quote again the words of a young man, "my head says no but my heart says yes"

2004-04-21T10:53:00.000+08:00

The birth of a new blog